Getting back on track is hard.
I’ll be painfully, embarrassingly candid: I’ve gained like 15 pounds over the last year.
Ugh. I do not feel good at 160. At all.
But finding the balance is hard. The balance among paying enough attention to what I eat to make good choices, paying too much attention to what I eat, and paying no attention to what I eat.
For the past few months, I’ve been in the last category. I call it the “just fuck it” approach to eating. And I should know by now that it just doesn’t work. I inevitably balloon back up to the 160s, which just do not look good on me. This gets me down. Real down.
I have the problem, though, of when coming off of the “just fuck it” period to overcompensate. I start doing really stupid things like ordering my coffee with sugar free syrup (I just took a sip. It’s really awful. Luckily, I have a fancy gold card so I can get a free refill and ask them to make it with regular syrup). I start looking at calories instead of nutrition. I start getting consumed again.
What adds to my consumption is the fact that I have two full time jobs. I’m working at the hotel front desk and teaching four sections of 1101. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for the gym, or much of any exercise.
Anywho, this post is mostly just to get my thoughts out so I can start to think about them a little straighter. And to admit that I’m struggling.